What's that? Over there? What'd she say?
Something, something.. about..her?
Who's her?
Who's she?
Me?
Paranoia at it's finest.
Hmmm. Insomnia. Paranoia.
I must have a problem with "ia"s.
Welcome to the next segment of why Courtney is entirely undateable!
#13!
Ironic, isn't it? A very superstitious number that causes paranoia is the number I wrote down forever ago to note paranoia as one of my problems. Completely unintentionally!
Honestly, I'm impressed.
Or not.
Anyway
I am probably one of the most paranoid people you'll ever meet... or read about.
But only in a certain way.
I know that not everyone is out to get me, in fact very few people are. I'm not worried that everything is going wrong. I'm more or less paranoid about people's reactions to my actions.
I'm a worrier.
Maybe I shouldn't title this Paranoia... Maybe it should be Worry.
For instance.
I sent an email with an Irish joke to a friend who happens to be very Irish. Now, I'm Irish too, and I wasn't offended by this joke, but this friend is waaaay more Irish than I.
I kid you not, I worried all day long about that email.
I stressed, and fretted, and worried my little ol' self into a tizzy
about whether or not my friend would be offended.
And you know what?
It was all for nothing.
My friend emailed me back, said they laughed at the joke, and sent me a joke of their own.
Another example:
I text a coworker the other day to let them know that our Team Leader said they could come in and work extra shifts. I was already feeling uncomfortable, because that's really not my job, and I wasn't really sure how to relay that information without sounding pushy or like I personally wanted my coworker to come in. After some interesting discussion, I was feeling odd about how I had relayed the information and began apologizing profusely. My coworker text back and was very confused as to why I was apologizing; I was only doing as I was asked.
This is what I do. I worry what other people think, say, and feel. Not necessarily about me, but in general. I'm not vain, just a little self conscious. I like to be liked, and I worry constantly that I've offended or upset people. I think this comes from part of the way I was brought up.
Not only do I worry frequently about people hating me, or being offended or upset with me, I also physically can't stand it when people are mad at me.
I get nauseous, faint, short of breath, and I mentally tear myself apart.
I find my "condition" here harder to deal with due to the increase in non-verbal communication.
It is so difficult to tell tones through text. How do I know that when you sent a text saying "Maybe you should get more sleep," you didn't mean it in a snarky, underhanded way? Like, "Maybe you should get more sleep, so you're not such a crab!" Sure that would highly out of character for you.
But it could happen!
In the end I am a special kind of paranoid. I worry about useless things, about people being mad at me, and that somehow, someone is talking about me.
Its just how I am.
I don't let it over run or rule my life. Its just a part of me. Another quirk to add to the list.
Actually I think this one is a flaw.
Regardless,
Thanks for stopping in.
Is it weird to end this blog this way?
Probably, Let's try this:
"Captain's Log. March 13th."
"How do you end a Captain's Log?"
That's an inside joke.
Tune in next time for more tales of the undateable.
Or not.
Anyway
I am probably one of the most paranoid people you'll ever meet... or read about.
But only in a certain way.
I know that not everyone is out to get me, in fact very few people are. I'm not worried that everything is going wrong. I'm more or less paranoid about people's reactions to my actions.
I'm a worrier.
Maybe I shouldn't title this Paranoia... Maybe it should be Worry.
For instance.
I sent an email with an Irish joke to a friend who happens to be very Irish. Now, I'm Irish too, and I wasn't offended by this joke, but this friend is waaaay more Irish than I.
I kid you not, I worried all day long about that email.
I stressed, and fretted, and worried my little ol' self into a tizzy
about whether or not my friend would be offended.
And you know what?
It was all for nothing.
My friend emailed me back, said they laughed at the joke, and sent me a joke of their own.
Another example:
I text a coworker the other day to let them know that our Team Leader said they could come in and work extra shifts. I was already feeling uncomfortable, because that's really not my job, and I wasn't really sure how to relay that information without sounding pushy or like I personally wanted my coworker to come in. After some interesting discussion, I was feeling odd about how I had relayed the information and began apologizing profusely. My coworker text back and was very confused as to why I was apologizing; I was only doing as I was asked.
This is what I do. I worry what other people think, say, and feel. Not necessarily about me, but in general. I'm not vain, just a little self conscious. I like to be liked, and I worry constantly that I've offended or upset people. I think this comes from part of the way I was brought up.
Not only do I worry frequently about people hating me, or being offended or upset with me, I also physically can't stand it when people are mad at me.
I get nauseous, faint, short of breath, and I mentally tear myself apart.
I find my "condition" here harder to deal with due to the increase in non-verbal communication.
It is so difficult to tell tones through text. How do I know that when you sent a text saying "Maybe you should get more sleep," you didn't mean it in a snarky, underhanded way? Like, "Maybe you should get more sleep, so you're not such a crab!" Sure that would highly out of character for you.
But it could happen!
In the end I am a special kind of paranoid. I worry about useless things, about people being mad at me, and that somehow, someone is talking about me.
Its just how I am.
I don't let it over run or rule my life. Its just a part of me. Another quirk to add to the list.
Actually I think this one is a flaw.
Regardless,
Thanks for stopping in.
Is it weird to end this blog this way?
Probably, Let's try this:
"Captain's Log. March 13th."
"How do you end a Captain's Log?"
That's an inside joke.
Tune in next time for more tales of the undateable.
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